The heart of winter

Last Thursday I had my every-three-week herceptin appointment (number 12 of 18).  My doctor asked how I was doing and I burst into tears.  Which seemed odd to me given that I am now done with treatment, for the most part.  After talking with me for a while, she told me to stop taking the tamoxifen for a few weeks to figure out if it was causing me to feel depressed.  This is apparently a reported side effect that "a small number of women" may experience from the tamoxifen.

The last several weeks have been difficult.  It feels like in a blink of an eye we've gone from the dead of summer to the heart of winter.  I've been tired, sick (I got my first post-cancer cold....nasty little germs, left me feeling lousy for a week and a half) and completely unmotivated to do anything.    I think I will figure this out and not let the tamoxifen get the better of me, but it might take a little bit of time and work.  And speaking of work, I took a "rest day" from work today.  That helped a bit.  As did a winter hike on saturday.   And knowing that in less than two months we'll have daylight savings time again (this year on my birthday!) means there is an escape to winter coming soon.