Round 4, Day 1: Good to go

Round 4, Day 1 at the chemo room was uneventful.  Dr. M is on vacation, so met with her senior, well-regarded, less chatty partner, Dr. Smith.  He said I didn't look infected -- so all good to go with the chemo.  Back on track for every three weeks for treatment #s 5 & 6.  So far just super tired.  I actually, unbeknownst to me, fell asleep on the chemo chair until my brother kicked me to stop the chemo snore.

Now we're just hanging at home watching tv.

How full is the glass?

The glass feels half full, in that I've made it this far - halfway through chemo.  But it also feels half empty - now I have to repeat the last 10 weeks.

Working from home today amidst  a few errands and appointments (kitties got their long over due annual check-up today).  Looking forward to visit from brother and while not actually looking forward to chemo, looking forward to knocking out another one and filling the glass up a bit more.

thank goodness

thank goodness for summer storms, which have the power to cool temperatures from 98 to 75 -- sunday's storm gave me the opportunity to go walking outside for 45 minutes.

thank goodness for antibiotics (and sports bras) -- dr. c said my infection looks like it's clearing up and i just have an accumulation of fluid now.  should be good to go for chemo on thurs.

and thank goodness for day 27 -- feeling so much better than the last few weeks -- gives me something to look forward to in october.

Maybe I just need more support...

That is, of the left breast (i.e., lumpectomy breast).  Saw Dr. C at Georgetown today.  She said the redness maybe looks a tiny bit better.  She thinks what is likely going on is that some fluid has built up and gotten infected.  In addition to my antibiotic (Keflex), she wants me to wear a very supportive sports bra for compression, just as I did after the surgery.  Will potentially help with the fluid problem.  See her again on Tuesday to see if things are improving.  As long as it does not get worse, I am scheduled to begin Round 4 on Thursday.

And speaking further of support.  This morning I met with a social worker who runs some breast cancer support groups and workshops at Sibley Hospital.  That was helpful and I hope to meet with her again and get tied into her support group networks.  She asked me a very telling question -- have I been able to ask for help from friends and family and tell them what I need.  Asking people for what I need has never been easy for me, and not sure if I've done a good job of it so far.  

I think as I head into phase two of chemo, I need to try to take a little better care of myself physically. When I am exhausted, I need to realize that, duh, resting might help a bit.  I think I will try to have friends over to my place more frequently and go out less -- that way, I can still get the support that has been so helpful from friends and family (and I am very appreciative of all of the support so far!!), while conserving energy.   And I think I am going to try to reduce my work hours a bit.

Putting that last one into practice, did not go into work today.  After my appointments, came home and rested.  Then off to the gym for 35 minutes and 1.81 miles on the treadmill!  (Of course, I had to drive the six blocks to the gym because it feels like the inside of an oven outside.)  And the treadmill walk felt great, so I need to make sure to work that into the schedule.  Exercise helps combat chemo fatigue.

So -- plan of action -- more rest, regular walks, and invites to friends to come play cards, games, watch tv, movies, do crosswords, and hang out.  Etc.  

Not Round 4 yet

Just a quick update.  I have what my doctor (my surgeon, Dr. Cocilovo) believes to be an infection.  Some redness, warmth, and fluid vaguely near where my surgery was.  I feel fine physically (other than tired) but chemo has been delayed by a week.  Much as I was dreading it, it is more frustrating to have it delayed.  It's been an aggravating few days.  Yesterday's visit at georgetown took over three hours.  Much waiting.  And that wasn't even the aggravating part.  That was the four phone calls trying to get Dr. McGrail to call me back.  And my chemo-induced impatience and frustration with having to reschedule everything that's based on my 21-day cycle over the next two months.

Follow-up with Dr. Colilovo at georgetown tomorrow to see if antibiotics are kicking in and helping infection (if that's what it is).

New end date (tentatively):  September 9, with 13-16 days after to feel better.

Round 3, Day 18: Finally

Finally ~ I took a walk again, this morning -- had not walked since Tuesday!

Finally ~ Started feeling really "better" on Friday, Day 16.  Day 13 did not work its magic this time around.

Finally ~ my "halo" came in.  Was supposed to take 2-3 weeks, took five weeks.  A halo, or "fringe," in wig lingo, is where they take hair and sew it to a headband so you can wear it under any hat, scarf, etc.  For some reason, picking up the halo was more traumatic than getting my hair shaved off in the first instance.  I think because I had such high expectations that with the halo on, I would look just like me again.  But I didn't.  The halo is one layer of thin, straight hair.  Not my normal wavy hair.  But after picking it up, had lunch with some friends who thought it looked just fine.  So that was comforting.  Which leads me to...

Finally ~ a lost pet story with a happy ending!  Driving over to my friends' house from the wig shop, I happened to see a small, gray dog on the road, who made his way over to the sidewalk.  I didn't stop because there were cars behind me, and at the moment, I didn't know what I would do with the dog or if I should even be picking up a strange dog while on chemo.  Later that afternoon, my friend emailed me.  A  good samaritan saw the dog, posted his picture on the local community list serve, and he was reunited with his owner!

And speaking of the halo -- after fussing with it and getting it all set up under my hat last night, went to a friend's birthday party.   Which happened to be Vegas themed and came with black hats for all guests to don.  Upon my arrival, an unsuspecting guest immediately told me -- here, remove your hat and put this one on.  But, um, no, I stammered (do I blurt out, "I can't!  My halo is most unflattering without my hat!"???) ... friend AB to the rescue -- "she brought her own hat."  Problem solved!

And finally ~ pinned down a vacation plan for post-chemo!  Will visit some of the best Virginia has to offer ... barrier islands with wild ponies, mountains in the fall and cool caverns.  Yay!  Something to look forward to while undergoing these next and last nine weeks or so of chemo!

Round 3, Day 14: Halfway Hat

Wig stayed home today.  Celebrated halfway with a new hat, which I wore to work today.

Cinders got cozy with free head this morning.

In side effects news:

Eyes have been tearing quite a bit.  That's due to the taxotere.

Really feeling the fatigue - it's hard to get through the work day.  Yesterday, I finally tried out the "relaxation" room.

I was wrong about the hot flashes.  They disappeared as soon as I stopped taking the steroid, and flushing is one of the steroid's side effects.  So, I believe that's what I was experiencing.  How all those athletes can stand it, I don't know.

Stomach is vaguely ok, although I would not say I feel WELL yet.  Water is tasting bad.  Having trouble staying sufficiently hydrated.   Recent enjoyable food items:  pasta, mint ice cream, nutella, strawberry italian ice and marzipan.

Round 3, Day 11: Baldly walking

While my earlier days this round did not seem quite as bad as they did in earlier rounds, my middle days - including my first few days back at work - were much more difficult than in earlier rounds.  Difficult as in, really fatigued, and still queasy.  On Days 8 & 9 took more of my zofran (super nausea-fighting drug) (which, by the way, even though I only pay $20 for it, is marked at retail as over $920!).  Yesterday and today the stomach pain is back.  My entire digestive tract cannot wait until mid-September.

In other, and more pleasant, news, the heat wave broke and yesterday my friend Debbie (visiting from Boston) and I took a 3 mile walk in the evening.  After we walked a few blocks, I decided that my sweaty head really wanted to be exposed to the fresh air, and I finally got over my fear of walking around in public bald!  (that is, bald but for my patchy fuzz, some of which is still left).  Always one to worry about what others think, it actually felt very liberating to walk around without a hat or other head covering, realizing that the general public is not judging me for being without my hairs.

Another nearly 2 1/2 mile walk this morning (where I did cover my head to protect it from the sun) was nice but started to get a little overheated towards the end.  Back to life indoors.

Round 3, Day 7: I wish I were in Cheyenne, WY

Currently 54 degrees there, high of 68 tomorrow.  Instead of 102.

I planned poorly.  Chemotherapy in the midst of a heat wave is not ideal.  Yesterday out of desperation I went for a walk in the local grocery store.   At least I am not having chemotherapy 100 years ago before the invention of air conditioning.

Round 3 has been leaving me really tired, with some stomach issues, but the stomach issues, I believe, are not as bad as they were the last two rounds.  Have been eating small, frequent snacks, which seems to help some.  And taking a probiotic, Align.  Maybe by Round 6, I will have it all figured out.

Will attempt heading back into work tomorrow afternoon.   Now back to the couch.

Round 3, Day 4: July 4

Another long day at the chemo room on Thursday; with the wait at the pharmacy (broken register), all in all, took six hours.  Here's a shot of me receiving my carboplatin...



Friday morning went for a walk with my survivor friend.  After napping, my Day 2 ritual -- went for my neulasta injection to prevent low white blood cell counts, followed by my reflexology appointment for relaxation and help with chemo side effects.

Yesterday went to Kenilworth Aquatic Gardens in the morning for a stroll and photo shoot.  I haven't really taken any pictures since before chemo started, and it was so nice to be outside in a pretty spot.  Pics below.

This morning, my kitty beasties woke me up early as usual, and I took advantage of the cooler temps and went for a mile and a half walk, getting home by 8 a.m.

Side effects have generally been about the same.  The last several days have been really tired.  Right now is the most awake I've been since Wednesday.  For the first time since Tuesday night got a good night's sleep.  Stomach has been off a bit but not horrible.  Managing by eating very small, very frequent snacks (can't even call them meals), and trying to stay hydrated with small sips of whatever liquid doesn't bother me at the moment (usually ginger ale, cold water or seltzer).  The new treat is HOT FLASHES.  Over the last few days, my face periodically starts to flush and gets really really hot.  Another reason why I keep whining about the weather (which is supposed to get up into the 90s and up to 100 over the next several days).   Thank God for air conditioning!