Tuesday, November 30, 2010

29 RADS Done: letting the hair out of the hat

That's right, with just one radiation treatment to go, I report to you now that i have let my hair out of my hat finally at work, the one place where I was holding out.  It is coming in quite nicely, except that it is gray.  According to the mayo clinic:  "When your hair starts to grow back, it will probably be slightly different from the hair you lost. But the difference is usually temporary. Your new hair might have a different texture or color. It might be curlier than it was before, or it could be gray until the cells that control the pigment in your hair begin functioning again."

So, i have chemo gray.

Which looks pretty much like squirrel gray.  



Nonetheless, it is hair.  And it is happy to have been let out of the hat.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Flashback: Surgery

I started this blog a week or so before chemo started.  And I've flashed back to the beginning of April.  One more piece needs to be filled in:  surgery.

On April 8, I had my surgery:  a lumpectomy plus sentinel node dissection/biopsy.  I had two pre-operative procedures before surgery:  

First, was the wire localization procedure.  

Second was the radioactive dye injection in preparation for the sentinel node dissection.

I had read up on these procedures on breast cancer bulletin boards (I do NOT recommend doing this -- these boards can put the fear of God in you needlessly).  And many women had pain with the dye injection but most did not mention pain with the wire localization.   So, naturally, I was terrified of the injection but not the other.

When I first got to the hospital I was given a warm robe and valium.  I was escorted around by someone whose job it is to escort you around.  

Off to the wire localization where I was not permitted to bring my mom in with me.  It was a small, stuffy, hot room, and the procedure felt like someone had placed a coat hanger in me and was yanking it around.  Which essentially is what it was, except it the coat hanger was a thin wire and I'm hoping sterilized.  I very nearly passed out.

Then, on to the nuclear medicine department for the dye injection and lymphoscintigraphy.  The night before I had put my numbing patch on the left nipple.  The doctor came in and he looked to be about 16 years old.  I inquired if he had ever done this procedure before.  He assured me he had.  In fact, he did a very good job of it.  Each time he injected the dye (several spots around the nipple) there was a few seconds of burning pain and then the pain subsided.  Definitely not as painful as the wire placement.

Finally, back to the surgical area where my nightmare began.  In my pre-surgery meeting with the doctor, I had expressed fear about three things:  the gas mask, waking up with a tube in my throat, and feeling nauseous from the anesthesia.   The very short story is that my IV broke off, and rather than communicate this to me, and allow me to decide whether to go through the trouble and pain of having a second IV put in, the anesthesiologist unilaterally decided to put me out through the gas mask instead.  I was fighting with the person who tried to put the mask on, and they had several people holding me down.  I remember the anesthesiologist, rather than explaining to me what was going on, lying to me and telling me it was just oxygen.  It was horrible, and I woke up (at least with no tube in my throat) but nauseous and still smelling the sweet gas that they used to put me out.

It took several hours for me to get home, probably another hour to make it up the stairs, and several days to start feeling normal again and stop smelling that smell.  But, made it to a local park four days later to see the Virginia bluebells.  Whew.






27 RADS done: THREE go to

Only THREE radiation treatments left to go.  Started having a few side effects - for several days I was having what felt to me like "pinging" sharp pains, and what apparently are more commonly known as "zingers."   Had a few dizzy spells last sunday and monday - this may or may not be related to the radiation, but it is a side effect that some women experience.  Some skin irritation.  And am feeling a little tired.

But otherwise, not much else in the way of side effects.

Had a very nice thanksgiving feast yesterday and am looking forward to a very restful weekend.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

24 RADS done: Goodbye tube top, hello mountain top!


Thursday I had my last radiation treatment of the whole breast.  The technicians let me keep the tube top made of white mesh as a souvenir ("I went to radiation for four weeks, and all I got was this lousy tube top...").  Here's a photo of my tube top waiting to be bound to my chest in my very own personalized styrofoam cup.

Atop sugarloaf mountain
Friday I had my first radiation treatment of just the lumpectomy site (my "booster").  So thankful that my shoulder (now officially diagnosed as a frozen shoulder) does not need to be raised above my head in this new position.  Friday, and for the final six treatments, I lie on my side, almost falling off the table, with my left arm above my head, and underneath the blissfully warm sheets that the sibley radiation techs provide.

And even more that I am continuing to feel physically better.  Went hiking yesterday!  Here's an update on my hair progress:

at base of sugarloaf mountain

Sunday, November 14, 2010

19 RADS done: holy hair!

Nearly two thirds done with radiations.  Tomorrow is number 20.  On Thursday I have my last full treatment; after that it is just the "booster" to the lumpectomy site.  This means a change of position so my shoulder can start to recover.  Whew!  

The previous hair picture I posted was from November 4.  It is unbelievable to see the difference that just over a week has made.

November 12 self portrait

November 13



November 13, afternoon at arboretum

 Maybe soon it will look like THIS:

(lawyerly disclaimer....this is a copyrighted image which is why I am not including it here!)  

I continue to feel much better from the chemo and am keeping busy with walks and photography, including a photoshop class at the smithsonian.   


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

17 RADS done: support group junkie?

I think I must be a support group addict given that, after leaving my 17th radiation treatment not five hours earlier, I dragged my ass back out to Sibley hospital, through rush hour traffic, just so I could check out a new support group.  Further evidence:  it turns out I knew two of the five women there from other supportive breast cancer environments.  Having all kinds of weird emotions approaching the end of this phase of my treatment, I guess I was just looking for a support group fix.

In other news, my shoulder pain is apparently due to bursitis and my hair is slowly making its way back onto my head.  Below is a picture from last week.  As well as one from a visit to the national cathedral the other weekend that has nothing to do with anything really other than I think it's pretty.

Monday, November 8, 2010

15 RADS done: Halfway there!

This morning I had radiation # 15 of 30.  The skin is getting redder, but not really painful as I had anticipated (knocking on wood now).  One of the radiation techs said to me this morning that my breast looked like it was angry at them.  While my breast is not angry, my shoulder is.  That is, my right shoulder, which is becoming increasingly painful as what was a preexisting minor issue with my shoulder is morphing into a major issue because of the uncomfortable position my shoulder is forced into each day.  Tomorrow I see an orthopedic doc for that problem.

But I am loving my new schedule.  Although I didn't exercise this morning (oops), I hope to most mornings before radiation.

And speaking of exercise, over the weekend, completed a 5-K race with my friend Lisa who ran, while I ran-walked.  I decided to try a 1-minute run, 2-minute walk cycle.  Finished 134 out of 135, at 48 minutes and 28 seconds.  Pretty good for my third run since chemo!  Eager to find another one to try with longer running intervals soon.

The biggest irritation at the moment is dealing with all of the ongoing insurance and medical billing problems and mistakes.  I am trying to be grateful that all of the bigger problems, like having cancer, or feeling moderately nauseous or extremely fatigued all day, are behind me so I can focus on the less important ones.  Not easy, but trying.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

13 RADS done...taking better care of myself

The schedule of radiation at 9 a.m., plus additional doctor appts. (trying to fit in physical therapy for my shoulder, which has been hurting), not to mention vet visits and car problems, and then trying to rush to work, was leaving me exhausted and not exercising much.  So, I was finally able to get my radiation schedule changed ... my new daily appointment is at 11:30 a.m.  Hooray!!

AND, I told my office that for the remainder of November, I would only be at work from 12:30 ish on each day.  WHEW!!!

My first day of the new schedule was yesterday, and it felt SO much better.  Yesterday, I was able to get in a run-walk (still mostly walking) before my appointment, and tomorrow a.m. I hope to make it to a breast cancer fitness support group at a nearby gym (free spinning, stretching and abs class for breast cancer survivors, taught by a breast cancer survivor!).

Since that class is from 8 a.m. to 9 a.m., need to head off to bed now.