Moving out of the Comfort Zone

A few weeks ago, I attended a "transition to wellness" workshop at georgetown.  A big theme of the workshop was finding your "new normal."  That is what I am in the process of doing.  Something one of the panelists said really resonated with me; after she completed treatment, she spent time rethinking ~ "what do I want to do with my life."  I have been asking myself that question a lot these days.

After broaching the subject of reducing my hours slightly with the managing partners at my firm, they suggested perhaps I was being even too ambitious in estimating the number of hours I would be able to comfortably bill this year.  Although it seemed a giant leap (thus moving me out of my comfort zone), the other day, I proposed a 60% work schedule and I believe it will be acceptable to them.  Part of me worries about whether it is crazy, lazy or irresponsible to not work full time, but most of me feels really excited about having the opportunity to take the time to heal this year and do things that I have not had the time and energy to do.  Figuring out what I want to do with my life.

As I have struggled with the roller coaster of emotions and feelings over these last two months, I came to the conclusion that I really need a vacation.  Once again, moving out of my comfort zone, I just booked a solo spiritual journey vacation -- going to the grand canyon and a spa in sedona arizona!  I'll be going in just a few weeks and it will mark one year since my diagnosis.

And this weekend, I will be leading a hike for the first time in nearly a year.  

What I finally realized is that having to go through breast cancer, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation was  all outside of my comfort zone; so maybe -- just maybe -- I am strong enough to make other decisions to take care of myself, even if it means tip-toeing outside of the zone of comfort.

(Pictures:  back at sugarloaf mountain, hiking 7 miles on saturday)

Getting back on track

So after two weeks off the tamoxifen, I am back on it.  In the meantime, some changes to medications and the addition of a super vitamin D dose for my low vitamin D levels.  There are studies showing vitamin D deficiency is linked to higher incidence of breast cancer recurrence, among other things.  And am taking steps to ward off the depression including planning hikes, run-walking (well, once), more yoga, walking, spinning.... though still have yet to lose the ten pounds I packed on during chemo.  

Taking steps to take better care of myself.  I attended a "transition to wellness workshop" last week at Georgetown (more on that later).  And I found a running program specifically geared to people that have had cancer and been through treatments!  Cancer to 5K ... start training in March (with a 7-mile option).  It's not quite a marathon, but I'll take it!

And am in the process of figuring out a plan to reduce my billlable workload for this upcoming year -- the managing partners at my firm were receptive to it ... yay!

Hair update....it just keeps growing and is now becoming unruly.  Here's some hair pics, the first two from Jan. 15, the third from Jan. 30.