Changing expectations

Well, if you've been following my blog or talking to me in the last three months, you know that I have been training for a half marathon to celebrate getting two years past diagnosis day.  And my birthday.  Unfortunately, I have been sick for the last 8 days, and am not "all better" yet.  Still have congestion (not a big deal), chest congestion and some coughing (more of a big deal for running), and am pretty weak and tired since I haven't eaten much other than tea and emergen-c and cold-eze for the last week.  Some chicken soup in there too.

I have gotten all kinds advice including do the race anyway, stay home in bed, show up & start the race and see how I feel, & walk instead of run.

I had my pity party yesterday and discovered that crying only made the congestion worse.

So.  While it sucks and I'm still bumming that I won't be at my best for tomorrow, I still had the amazing experience of the past three months of training.

What is my plan?  I think I am going to try to walk the whole thing.  Maybe I'll run a mile at the beginning.  We'll see.  But I don't want my unmet expectations to diminish at all the fact that I am still celebrating two years away from diagnosis day.  So, I will just have to change my expectations.  Possibly on a moment to moment basis.  While I know part of me is disappointed, frustrated and thinks this sucks, I want the other part of me to be able to enjoy tomorrow, regardless of how fast and far I go.

Will just have to wait and see how it goes tomorrow....