Today marks one year from the beginning of my chemo treatments. It's been both a very long and very quick year all at once.
Next Thursday is my final herceptin. Whew. Mixed emotions about that (mostly relief) but more on that next week.
Continue to be really tired all the time. Am hoping that some of the fatigue is due to the herceptin, since next week is #18 of 18.
But in the meantime, continue to run - training with Cancer-to-5K for a race Sunday June 5.
And the day before, Saturday June 4, will walk the Komen race for the cure 5K with my spinning-running-walking buddy Janel's team.
And the following Sunday, June 12, will do a "survivor harbor" 4 mile race in baltimore with some of the Cancer-to-5K teammates, and my friend lisa.
Hiking tomorrow.
That's about it for now.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
In the chemo room, again
Writing from the chemo room as I receive herceptin #17 (of 18!). Can't believe that next time is my LAST ONE!!!
Good news to report - I had a mammogram at Sibley on Tuesday, and results came back normal! I hadn't even realized how tense I was about it until that morning; the 15-minute wait for my results was agonizing. Afterwards I just felt weak with relief. Had lunch afterward with a friend at chef geoff's - a very tasty italian grinder (haven't heard a sandwich referred to as a grinder since my days at wesleyan). Was so drained that rather than head back to work, got myself a mani-pedi with hot stone massage.
In other news, have continued to be really tired, a lot of the time. This is frustrating. My depression has been acting up this past week too. This morning I was unable to get myself out of bed to run and get to work, so instead, just stayed home. A few hours of work and a few hours of unproductive, non-relaxing time. Ugh. It is super nice out too, so unfortunate that I squandered the day. Perhaps I shall go for a walk after treatment today. Dinner tonight with two friends I haven't seen in a while.
My hair continues to grow like crazy and one day soon I'll post pics.
Good news to report - I had a mammogram at Sibley on Tuesday, and results came back normal! I hadn't even realized how tense I was about it until that morning; the 15-minute wait for my results was agonizing. Afterwards I just felt weak with relief. Had lunch afterward with a friend at chef geoff's - a very tasty italian grinder (haven't heard a sandwich referred to as a grinder since my days at wesleyan). Was so drained that rather than head back to work, got myself a mani-pedi with hot stone massage.
In other news, have continued to be really tired, a lot of the time. This is frustrating. My depression has been acting up this past week too. This morning I was unable to get myself out of bed to run and get to work, so instead, just stayed home. A few hours of work and a few hours of unproductive, non-relaxing time. Ugh. It is super nice out too, so unfortunate that I squandered the day. Perhaps I shall go for a walk after treatment today. Dinner tonight with two friends I haven't seen in a while.
My hair continues to grow like crazy and one day soon I'll post pics.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Catching up, Memento style
Today: met with Dr. Smith, he told me that the lump I found was just an infected cyst and most definitely, definitely NOT cancer.
Sunday, 4/17: after a wonderful hike in rock creek park, found a strange lump to the right of my right (non-cancer) breast. Wow, really freaked out by that.
Thursday, 4/14: met with Dr. Smith (McGrail's former partner), and had Herceptin number 16 of 18. Still bumming about Dr. McGrail being gone.
Wednesday, 4/13: consultation with Dr. Kaltman, as potential replacement for Dr. McGrail. Liked her a lot. Support group @ sibley afterwards.
Sunday, 4/10: hiking amidst the Virginia bluebells. That was nice. It also marked a year since I hiked (or, hobbled) amidst the Virginia bluebells a year ago with my mom, 3 days after my surgery.
Wednesday, 4/6: support group @ georgetown. Really love this group of women.
Wednesday, 3/30: met with Dr. McGrail. Discussed why she was leaving practice effective immediately. The very short answer: contract dispute; Dr. Smith exercised his right to terminate her contract. Very sad. Crying, tissues and hugs.
Tuesday, 3/29: found out from friend in breast cancer spinning class that Dr. McGrail was leaving. Very upset. Very attached to her. No notice.
Sunday, 3/27: great yoga for cancer survivors class, lunch with yoga friends, and my very first hair cut!!
Thursday, 3/24: Herceptin number 15 of 18. Routine visit with Dr. McGrail.
Sunday, 3/20: nice hike along potomac heritage trail.
Wednesday, 3/16: really relaxing smith farm yoga class. Needed it because reentry to real life after vacation's been a bit rough.
Saturday, 3/12: began my Cancer-to-5K training. I think there are more volunteers than program participants, crazy! I have a coach now who emails me workouts!
Friday, 3/11: Back home from vacation. Sigh.
Sunday, 4/17: after a wonderful hike in rock creek park, found a strange lump to the right of my right (non-cancer) breast. Wow, really freaked out by that.
Thursday, 4/14: met with Dr. Smith (McGrail's former partner), and had Herceptin number 16 of 18. Still bumming about Dr. McGrail being gone.
Wednesday, 4/13: consultation with Dr. Kaltman, as potential replacement for Dr. McGrail. Liked her a lot. Support group @ sibley afterwards.
Sunday, 4/10: hiking amidst the Virginia bluebells. That was nice. It also marked a year since I hiked (or, hobbled) amidst the Virginia bluebells a year ago with my mom, 3 days after my surgery.
Wednesday, 4/6: support group @ georgetown. Really love this group of women.
Wednesday, 3/30: met with Dr. McGrail. Discussed why she was leaving practice effective immediately. The very short answer: contract dispute; Dr. Smith exercised his right to terminate her contract. Very sad. Crying, tissues and hugs.
Tuesday, 3/29: found out from friend in breast cancer spinning class that Dr. McGrail was leaving. Very upset. Very attached to her. No notice.
Sunday, 3/27: great yoga for cancer survivors class, lunch with yoga friends, and my very first hair cut!!
Thursday, 3/24: Herceptin number 15 of 18. Routine visit with Dr. McGrail.
Sunday, 3/20: nice hike along potomac heritage trail.
Wednesday, 3/16: really relaxing smith farm yoga class. Needed it because reentry to real life after vacation's been a bit rough.
Saturday, 3/12: began my Cancer-to-5K training. I think there are more volunteers than program participants, crazy! I have a coach now who emails me workouts!
Friday, 3/11: Back home from vacation. Sigh.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Diagnosis day: A year later
It was a year ago today that I received the call from georgetown that my biopsy came back positive (positive not being a good thing). Invasive breast cancer.
Twelve months later: 1.8 cm lump successfully removed on the first try by the amazing Dr. Cocilovo, 2-3 lymph nodes gone (still not sure whether I had two or three removed ... the important key being that they were negative!), one port implant, 6 rounds of chemotherapy (TCH ... taxotere, carboplatin & herceptin), 8 more rounds of herceptin (4 more to go), no hair for five months, 30 days of radiation, 10 pounds heavier (despite feeling queasy on chemo half the time, I managed to gain weight, go figure) .... here I am. From the sunshine state, where I learned of my diagnosis, to the grand canyon state, where I am celebrating being beyond cancer, and trying to figure out my new life (including handling anxiety over recurrence), here I am.
I have so many people that helped me through, whether for the whole year, or just a small moment along the way, for which I am very thankful. I wouldn't dare try listing people for fear of missing someone. You know who you are, so thank you.
Twelve months later: 1.8 cm lump successfully removed on the first try by the amazing Dr. Cocilovo, 2-3 lymph nodes gone (still not sure whether I had two or three removed ... the important key being that they were negative!), one port implant, 6 rounds of chemotherapy (TCH ... taxotere, carboplatin & herceptin), 8 more rounds of herceptin (4 more to go), no hair for five months, 30 days of radiation, 10 pounds heavier (despite feeling queasy on chemo half the time, I managed to gain weight, go figure) .... here I am. From the sunshine state, where I learned of my diagnosis, to the grand canyon state, where I am celebrating being beyond cancer, and trying to figure out my new life (including handling anxiety over recurrence), here I am.
I have so many people that helped me through, whether for the whole year, or just a small moment along the way, for which I am very thankful. I wouldn't dare try listing people for fear of missing someone. You know who you are, so thank you.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Bridge to spring...getting past the bumps
I'm in Phoenix!
Just a few weeks ago I planned my trip to arizona. I just finished a big deadline at work (and got positive feedback on the comments I wrote - yay - my brain is starting to work again). And as I've already mentioned, I am now coming up to the one year anniversary of my diagnosis day. So, this week seemed like a good time to go.
Last spring I was miserable with diagnosis, surgery and the beginning of chemo. Then came the summer which was unbearably hot whilst on chemo. Fall was a blur of driving to and from sibley hospital for my radiation treatments. And this winter, I have been tired and a cold weather wuss. So, I have been yearning for spring to start. And I have been viewing this trip as my bridge to spring (as I've told a few of you). Because once I get back, it is the weekend of daylight savings time (and my birthday), the beginning of the Cancer to 5K training program I registered for, and I will finally start to feel settled into my new reduced work schedule, I hope.
I am convinced I have SADD, seasonal affective depressive disorder, or whatever it's called. The cold dark days just bum me out. So, very excited to spend a week in arizona where it will be in the 60s. And then to come back to the beginning of spring in DC. Hence, my bridge to spring.
About the bumps. The short version is, despite all my obsessive planning the perfect travel arrangements, it all went to hell when US Air canceled my flight this morning, after keeping us delayed about an hour. I managed to get on a United flight out of Dulles, but instead of getting to Phoenix at 2 p.m., I didn't get here until 9. Had to transfer through Chicago (Pete, I didn't even have a chance to call you!). Some turbulence heading toward chicago, and even more turbulence heading away from chicago. But - big picture - despite a detour and change in my friday plan (not driving to flagstaff tonight), I am here in phoenix and ready to hit the road tomorrow morning. Grand Canyon here I come! No pictures yet, but there will be many :-)
Just a few weeks ago I planned my trip to arizona. I just finished a big deadline at work (and got positive feedback on the comments I wrote - yay - my brain is starting to work again). And as I've already mentioned, I am now coming up to the one year anniversary of my diagnosis day. So, this week seemed like a good time to go.
Last spring I was miserable with diagnosis, surgery and the beginning of chemo. Then came the summer which was unbearably hot whilst on chemo. Fall was a blur of driving to and from sibley hospital for my radiation treatments. And this winter, I have been tired and a cold weather wuss. So, I have been yearning for spring to start. And I have been viewing this trip as my bridge to spring (as I've told a few of you). Because once I get back, it is the weekend of daylight savings time (and my birthday), the beginning of the Cancer to 5K training program I registered for, and I will finally start to feel settled into my new reduced work schedule, I hope.
I am convinced I have SADD, seasonal affective depressive disorder, or whatever it's called. The cold dark days just bum me out. So, very excited to spend a week in arizona where it will be in the 60s. And then to come back to the beginning of spring in DC. Hence, my bridge to spring.
About the bumps. The short version is, despite all my obsessive planning the perfect travel arrangements, it all went to hell when US Air canceled my flight this morning, after keeping us delayed about an hour. I managed to get on a United flight out of Dulles, but instead of getting to Phoenix at 2 p.m., I didn't get here until 9. Had to transfer through Chicago (Pete, I didn't even have a chance to call you!). Some turbulence heading toward chicago, and even more turbulence heading away from chicago. But - big picture - despite a detour and change in my friday plan (not driving to flagstaff tonight), I am here in phoenix and ready to hit the road tomorrow morning. Grand Canyon here I come! No pictures yet, but there will be many :-)
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Moving out of the Comfort Zone
A few weeks ago, I attended a "transition to wellness" workshop at georgetown. A big theme of the workshop was finding your "new normal." That is what I am in the process of doing. Something one of the panelists said really resonated with me; after she completed treatment, she spent time rethinking ~ "what do I want to do with my life." I have been asking myself that question a lot these days.
After broaching the subject of reducing my hours slightly with the managing partners at my firm, they suggested perhaps I was being even too ambitious in estimating the number of hours I would be able to comfortably bill this year. Although it seemed a giant leap (thus moving me out of my comfort zone), the other day, I proposed a 60% work schedule and I believe it will be acceptable to them. Part of me worries about whether it is crazy, lazy or irresponsible to not work full time, but most of me feels really excited about having the opportunity to take the time to heal this year and do things that I have not had the time and energy to do. Figuring out what I want to do with my life.
As I have struggled with the roller coaster of emotions and feelings over these last two months, I came to the conclusion that I really need a vacation. Once again, moving out of my comfort zone, I just booked a solo spiritual journey vacation -- going to the grand canyon and a spa in sedona arizona! I'll be going in just a few weeks and it will mark one year since my diagnosis.
And this weekend, I will be leading a hike for the first time in nearly a year.
What I finally realized is that having to go through breast cancer, surgery, chemotherapy and radiation was all outside of my comfort zone; so maybe -- just maybe -- I am strong enough to make other decisions to take care of myself, even if it means tip-toeing outside of the zone of comfort.
(Pictures: back at sugarloaf mountain, hiking 7 miles on saturday)
Monday, February 7, 2011
Getting back on track
So after two weeks off the tamoxifen, I am back on it. In the meantime, some changes to medications and the addition of a super vitamin D dose for my low vitamin D levels. There are studies showing vitamin D deficiency is linked to higher incidence of breast cancer recurrence, among other things. And am taking steps to ward off the depression including planning hikes, run-walking (well, once), more yoga, walking, spinning.... though still have yet to lose the ten pounds I packed on during chemo.
Taking steps to take better care of myself. I attended a "transition to wellness workshop" last week at Georgetown (more on that later). And I found a running program specifically geared to people that have had cancer and been through treatments! Cancer to 5K ... start training in March (with a 7-mile option). It's not quite a marathon, but I'll take it!
And am in the process of figuring out a plan to reduce my billlable workload for this upcoming year -- the managing partners at my firm were receptive to it ... yay!
Hair update....it just keeps growing and is now becoming unruly. Here's some hair pics, the first two from Jan. 15, the third from Jan. 30.
Taking steps to take better care of myself. I attended a "transition to wellness workshop" last week at Georgetown (more on that later). And I found a running program specifically geared to people that have had cancer and been through treatments! Cancer to 5K ... start training in March (with a 7-mile option). It's not quite a marathon, but I'll take it!
And am in the process of figuring out a plan to reduce my billlable workload for this upcoming year -- the managing partners at my firm were receptive to it ... yay!
Hair update....it just keeps growing and is now becoming unruly. Here's some hair pics, the first two from Jan. 15, the third from Jan. 30.
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